The FIRO-B questionnaire is based on Will Schutz’s wish to provide an understanding of the fundamental differences between people and how these impact on relationships. It can dramatically increase an individual’s understanding of areas such as how they come across to others, how and why conflict can develop and how to understand and manage their own needs when interacting with others. It measures how a person typically behaves towards others and how that person would like others to behave towards them. It assesses interpersonal style, and its appropriateness in relationships, on three levels: 

Inclusion

Expressed: I make an effort to include others in my activities. I try to belong, to join social groups – to be with people as much as possible.  

Wanted: I want other people to invite me to belong. I enjoy it when others notice me. 

Control

Expressed: I try to exert control and influence over things. I enjoy organising things and directing others. 

Wanted: I feel most comfortable working in well-defined situations. I try to get clear expectations and instructions. 

Affection

Expressed: I make an effort to get close to people. I am comfortable expressing personal feelings and I try to be supportive of others. 

Wanted: I want others to act warmly towards me. I enjoy it when people share their feelings with me and when they encourage my efforts.